LIFE'S A BEACH

I could have titled this post Life's A Bitch .. Two of Them .. but that would have been tacky and potentially offensive and when would I ever want to offend anyone *cough cough*

This week has been extremely spring like here in southern Ontario and it also happened to be Collette's spring break. So being us, when we saw the sun shining and the temps going into the double digits we packed up the girls and off to the beach we went

Hayley looked forward to the day so that she could work on her tan
Terra, however, decided the day was more suited to hunting sticks
Hunting sticks is not a simple endeavour. Sticks are crafty quarry. Devious you could say. You never know where they could be hiding. Sometimes they go turtle on you and dig themselves into the sand
Some times the wild stick could be hiding behind hills. Luckily, sticks cannot resist the super secret border collie inducement cry and can be "hollared" out of the hollows. Roughly translated into human speech, the cry means "Hey stick, get your ass over here so I can chew on you"
Hayley doesn't cry for sticks. She would much rather appeal for cookies. And who could resist such an appeal?

Back to the stick hunting. These Toronto Beaches sticks are particularly clever. When being hunted by puppy border collies, their last resort is to flee into Lake Ontario. This was especially effective. When we first took Terra to the beach last summer, she was very eager to swim. An entire winter has passed and now she finds herself having to relearn this skill. At first, she tried doing some kind of funky border collie dance to entice the stick out of the water ..

But the stick was impervious to this dance so Terra knew there was only one thing to do: Go swimming
Wrangling a stick out of the lake is no easy task. They are wily and agile and perhaps this particular stick came from special underwater trees cultivated by a race of sentient dolphins ... No, I haven't been smoking anything, I'm just tired. At any rate, it was no small feat for Terra to grasp her prey but she had help, with Hayley coaching on the side ..
So even though the waves looked pretty daunting to her, Terra is not easily put off her prey. She's never seen a sheep. For all she knows, this is thing she's supposed to herd

Hayley is not overly impressed. Here she is asking "If she eats the stick, does that mean I get her cookie?
So wrangling sticks is a solo activity. But there is one critter that requires two border collies to herd. A critter so baffling and strange it requires all the brain power to two herders to bring successfully home. Yup, it takes two border collies to safely bring home a "dad"
Below is a little video with some of our high lights of our day at the beach



Life's A Beach from Victor Kellar on Vimeo.



WHY DO YOU HAVE DOGS?

It's a question I get asked fairly frequently, especially since we've taken on Terra. It's a fair question. Dogs are a lot of money. They are a lot of work. They can restrict your movements, your freedom. They occupy a lot of your time. Double the dogs doesn't double any of the above factors .. it seems to triple them.

Except for poop. It quadruples the poop. . Seriously. It's some kind of physical phenomenon. Stephen Hawking should look into it

So, why dogs? When the vet bills or food bills roll in, when we're tired in the morning and don't feel like going anywhere but you get those four brown eyes staring at you .. I ask myself the same question

Today I got my answer.

It was a miserable day here in Toronto. The kind of weather I hate more than anything: Cold, grey and a cold stinging driving rain that almost hurts when it hits your face, that soaks your clothes through in seconds, that forces you to turn your head against it only to feel it slide down the back of your neck, wet and icy

I would take a blizzard over this any day. Without dogs I would have no reason to venture out in such shitty weather. I'd be huddled on the couch with Collette, watching B movies and drinking Bailey's Irish Cream and commenting: "You'd be fucking nuts to be out in this"

But there were those eyes. Collette had taken them out in the morning, it was now past the time we normally go for their afternoon weekend walk. They had been perfectly good, letting us watch a movie and eat breakfast, quietly waiting and now it was time, no it was past time and yes it's shitty but we really need to go ...

So yeh, I'm fucking nuts

I took them up to Earl Bales Park. We used to live closer to there and Hayley is very familiar with the park, the old road that leads down to it, the golf course that leads away from it, but Terra had never been. It's a big park, lots of trails and open fields and small woods. So I bundled the girls in the car and away we went

It was grey. Rainy. Cold. Miserable. But Hayley went down this familiar road with her tail wagging, finding trails she had not been in on in years and unerringly leading me along them; Terra went racing up and down the steep hills of the ravine, splashing through the rain puddles, barking in the trees .. at one point she raced straight up the side of a 6 ft tall brick wall and stood up there staring down at me as if to say "Wow, do you see where I am now?"

We played ball in a big open field and threw the stick on the fairway of the golf course. The rain sliced down the whole time. But the girls were running and barking and leaping and playing in the puddles

My eyes were slitted against the rain and it was sliding down my neck and my fingers were freezing.

But I was smiling

That's why I have dogs.

THE REAL WINTER GAMES

OK, now that the 25 hr Commercial Games .. I mean the Olympic Games ... are over with, we can concentrate on the true great winter Canadian Game ... The Border Collie Bowl

This is a full contact, no holds barred game of speed, dexterity and mouth to paw coordination. The object is simple .. catch the ball before your sister does. Or bite her while the ref's head is turned.
This is a championship match, between the new up and comer, Terra "The Prodigy" and the current champ, the wily veteran Hayley. No love lost between these two. The trash talk has been flying. Comments have been flying about "mud puddle licker" and "butt sniffer" and accusations of a certain athlete tampering with the ball
The pre-game intensity was evident at the weigh ins, where the reigning champ engaged the rookie in an intense stare down
The game was certainly exciting, back and forth, give and take, bark and sniff the whole way. An official protest was lodged against Terra for carrying the ball until it was pointed out, how the heck else was she getting it back to Dad?
But all in all it was an honourable affair, no was bitten, no one was peed on and although the word "bitch" was bandied about, it could barely be considered a technical foul

Still, no medals were handed out for this historic athletic event, but Milk Bones seemed to suffice. And thankfully, I've captured the entire event for posterity. You know, for when you go into your post Border Collie Bowl funk

The Border Collie Bowl from Victor Kellar on Vimeo.

TERRA - DOG PARK VIRGIN

Although Terra has been going to our local park since the day we got her, and has been socializing nicely with our neighbourhood dogs, Cerdarvale Park is the local official off leash area. It is about a 25 minute walk, or a quick subway ride, from the house. And this weekend, Terra was finally introduced to it.

We took the two dogs together of course. We walked them down, with the intention of bringing them back on the subway. The plan was to dissipate a lot of Terra's energy so that she would not be overwhelmed by the subway station and the train itself. That plan worked. The walk, and then a two hour play took most of the edge off her and she did very well on her first subway ride.

She also did very well on her first visit to the dog park. She has a fan club who had yet to see her; I've been telling some of the regulars there about her and they have been anxiously waiting to meet her. On our way to the actual off leash area, we met our friend John and his two dogs, greyhound Jazz and border collie Hayley .. yes, Hayley. Seems to be a popular name for the breed. John was so anxious to see the puppy that he and his two dogs jumped a fence to see us. In the video you'll see the three border collies playing, what can be better than that?

In the off leash itself, we ran into another friend, Joan and her dog Karma; this dog is, for Hayley, sheep number one. So we knew that she would be well occupied while Terra looked for friends. It didn't her long. In the mean time she did some fetch work with me, which is coming along nicely.

Eventually she met a lovely male Rottweiler pup right around her age. At first the male would just sit on Terra, pinning her, which is a sign of dominance. But Terra is pretty self assured even at this age. She kept her composure and kept at the pup and eventually his dominant behaviour turned into genuine wrestling (and we know, from the previous post, that Terra is a pretty good wrestler) The Rottie's owner was great "You dog has taught my do to play"

So Terra's first dog park experience was successful. More, I'm sure, to come


Terra at Cedervale from Victor Kellar on Vimeo.

MARTIAL ARTS HAVE GONE TO THE DOGS

As I have mentioned in the past, Collette and I are big fans of Mixed Martial Arts, also known as MMA, in particular the Ultimate Fighting Championship, otherwise known as the UFC. It is a full contact fighting sport that combines a variety of martial arts including boxing, wrestling, ju jitsu, mui thai, judo and many others. Essentially a typical fight is comprised of two components; stand up (boxing, kick boxing etc) and the ground game (wrestling, ju jitsu, grappling). You can win by knock out or by submission by way of tap out ... OK that is the educational component of this blog. Hope you paid attention. There will be a test later.

Yesterday, in Viewmount park, Collette and I witnessed a live MMA fight that rivalled anything we've paid for on Pay Per View. It featured two young and up and coming mixed martial arts fighters who, although they lacked in experience, make up for it in enthusiasm and ferocity. Officiating is important in MMA, the ref has a lot of power, protecting the fighters, keeping the action flowing and even stopping a fight to determine a winner. Luckily, a wily and veteran ref happened to be on hand for this match.

TALE OF THE TAPE:

IN THE TAN CORNER: A five month old huskie from Siberia, a grappling specialist with impressive submission skills, this middle weight fighter is known for his effective throat hold submission move, introducing Barky:

IN THE BLACK & WHITE CORNER: A three month old Collie from the Border regions this lightweight fighter is a stand up specialist known for her take down defence and lightning quick offense, introducing Terra:

OUR REFEREE: One of the most experienced officiants in the sport, a former welterweight champion, known for her devastating stand up as well as her dominating ground game, a legend of MMA .. Hayley:

As the first round gets underway, Barky uses his weight advantage to good effect, taking Terra to the mat, pinning her and going for a quick submission

Barky uses his superior grappling skills, to pin his smaller opponent, but Terra maintains an effective guard, keeping Barky to a side mount

In a stunning reversal, Terra breaks the hold and gains the dominant position, attempting a full mount to initiate some ground and pound .. or perhaps that should be ground and bite.

The ref moves in, reminding the two young fighters about "bites to the face"

The fighters gain their feet and quickly engage, fighting for position, locking up, dancing in the middle of the ring, testing each other's strength

The ref, like the crowd, grows bored with the action

In a stunning move, Terra uses uses an obscure and probably illegal mui thai take down and gains full mount inside Barky's guard

Barky attempts a counter, but Terra retains her position through strength, guile, and the threat of peeing on her opponent.

Terra presses her advantage, trying for total domination of the other fighter and securing her victory and .. oh wait! Is that a tennis ball?

The ref's disinterest reaches an all time high ...

Sensing the match may be getting out of hand, Terra employs a never fail martial arts technique employed by females around the world over for thousands of years .. the dreaded kiss lock

Not even our valiant grappling specialist can deal with such overwhelming technique .. and besides that WAS a tennis ball ...

So, Mr Dana White, president of the UFC, we await your call. We expect to get paid in Milk Bones. Canadian.

WALKING MISS HAYLEY

So, another Miss Hayley post, with another Miss Hayley video at the bottom. This is from our regular weekend visit to Cedarvale Park. We have been going to this big ravine park for several years now. We like it because there is a lot of space, a long ravine trail that leads into it, and a couple of smaller trails within the park itself that are pretty sheltered. And most importantly, there are dogs there, lots of dogs. We often refer to Cedarvale as the "dog park" while it was not, not legally ...until this past fall.

There are not an awful lot of official off leash parks in Toronto; there are, to the best of my knowledge, no off leash parks at all, but parks with off leash areas. In the last couple of years a lot has been made of the fact that there is something like a quarter million dogs in greater Toronto and not near enough off leash areas to service them all. It is a contentious issue here. This city is definitely divided along dog/no dog lines. I just don't me leash/off leash, I mean have a dog, don't have a dog. The more crowded our city gets, the more anti-dog sentiment we seem to have.

Which leads me to the whole off leash situation. I am essentially not a fan of off leash areas. I am a firm believer that your dog should be on leash on the street, on the public transit, in other public places. Miss Hayley is well behaved and well trained but I can't imagine walking her in the street off leash. First of all, it is dangerous. I've trained Hayley but I haven't trained every car, truck, bus, taxi .. or pedestrians. Secondly, I think it is inconsiderate. People walking along the street don't need to be pestered by a dog.

Parks are different. Not that I think people should be pestered, but parks are essentially recreational spaces. People aren't there chugging along on their errands, preoccupied with their business, they are there to relax, have fun, maybe do sport or exercise. Just like Miss Hayley and I. A park like Cedarvale, with its miles of trails and huge open spaces, should be able to be shared by all; truth is, in the summer, most of the two legged animals all crowd onto the sidewalks to exploit their wheels, leaving all that grass to the dogs.

Of course, the problem with sharing is, everyone needs to be on their best manners. And, my god, I don't know what goes through the minds of a lot of dog owners. They have no right to be out in public with their dog off leash, let alone on. You have the shit issue, which is really a big problem. If dog owners just pick up after their animals, a lot of the animosity against them would wane.

The other issue is dog behaviour. Some of the stuff I've seen makes my head ache. Dogs with their heads in coolers, dogs stealing other dogs' toys, dogs jumping ... a few weeks ago I was walking Hayley around our little neighbourhood park and for one entire circuit, about 15 minutes, I was assaulted by this kerry blue terrier. The whole way this thing was jumping up on me, while her owner remained stationary in the middle of the park, waving her hands in distress ... not a very successful dog training technique.

So I am not surprised that people want off leash areas, especially fenced in ones. People don't want dogs shitting on their grass and jumping on their pants, and I can't blame them. It doesn't have to be that way. If owners were responsible, picked up after their mutts, taught them manners, we could all happily co-exist.

So what's my issue with off leash areas, you ask? (You probably didn't ask but its my blog and in my blog you asked) I have a few concerns. One is, a fenced in area attracts irresponsible dog owners. Oh great, they say, there is a fence, my dog, my unruly, undisciplined dog, can run amok without my ever having to worry about etiquette or safety or proper socialization. The new off leash area in Cedarvale is huge. I don't think my video does it justice. Last weekend I saw a couple come in, let their dog off, then lean against the fence and and drink coffee and chat while their pet went gamboling off with a bunch of strange dogs .. great, that's the purpose of off leash areas. But it is also the danger. Dogs interacting always has the potential to go south But if you are there, observing, you can stop a problem before it starts. I know my dog and her border collie insanity; if that head goes down and starts to twist, some other dog is about to get gripped .. and as a rule I don't want that. So I call her off before it begins.

The other issue with a fenced in area is that it is great for a dog like Hayley, who loves to run and play with other dogs, a big contained area works great. But not all dogs like this kind of play and neither do their owners. They like to walk, and a place like Cedarvale, with all its trails, appeals to them. Of course, you can walk your dog on the leash but it is not the same. Off leash just gives you and your dog more freedom, Miss Hayley loves to wander a bit and sniff and explore. The video shows us on one of the lovely back trails, covered in snow, where the off leash Hayley is free to just move around and be a dog.

Still and all, it was a great day in the dog park. Lots of fresh snow and a relief from the absolutely frigid temps we have been experiencing lately. While we were there we met our friend hand his dog, who also happens to be a border collie ..and who happens to be called Hayley. Two border collie Hayleys, you know that is trouble.You will see in the video that lots of people came out on a Sunday to enjoy a nice winter day. Cross country skier, sledders, dogs ... and all sharing.

Now you all you go sing Kumbyah amongst yourselves. I'm getting a beer.



Miss Hayley at Cedarvale from Victor Kellar on Vimeo.

MISS HAYLEY IS TEN

Yup, its a milestone alright. Our Little Girl recently turned ten. Time flies when you are herding pretend sheep in the park.

Sometimes it seems like Hayley has been part of our lives forever. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that Collette opened a cat carrier on the lawn of our house and out popped this tiny black and white blob, all shy yet inquisitive asking "Are you gonna be my Mom?" For sure, it was love at first sight.

Collette and I often talk about the almost instant bond we made with this little dog. The first night we had her (before we were smart enough to know that the border collie sleeps on the bed) we had Hayley on the floor. She made a small whimper, Collette put her hand down so Hayley could sniff it and that was it, she was part of the pack.

Hayley has gone through three moves with us and never has shown any issue with adapting; as long as we are there, as long as there is a park nearby, all is good in her world. Collette and I have both worked out of the house, Collette has summers off then goes back to work, I am now working at home, we've had roomates, none of that seems to matter: This is Hayley's world and we just live int it ... that goes for you too.

Hayley was definitely an adorable, energetic puppy but I have loved how she has grown into this smart, centered, confident .. and still energetic.. adult dog. Is she as fast as she was five years ago? No, but she still eagerly assaults each new day in the park and stares down the distance for a new victim... er .. I mean playmate.

I am currently working on a video project, going back and editing some of the old video footage I have of Hayley, bringing it up to the current time. In the meantime I cut this little video of Hayley doing her thing in our local park; she is still nine year, this is from about a month ago. Just goes to show, she ain't gettin older, she's gettin ... um .. border collier.