REVENGE OF COMIC CON

Toronto is under attack!

Mutants have been seen marauding through the Eaton Centre, raiding the Apple Store for components to fix their jet plane and Wolverine was spotted at Booster Juice applying for the position of "fruit dicer".

Even more alarming, Daleks have been spotted on the Gardiner Expressway. When questioned about their intention, they were heard to say something about the Leafs needing all the help they can get

Why is this happening to my city? To whom will Toronto turn in its time of peril? Should we send the Tactical Squad to Gotham and kidnap Batman? Possible, but you know, the dude can't even fly and he's kind of a whiner: "My parents were killed, I'm an orphan, my codpiece is too tight" Yadda yadda. Dude, you're the richest man on earth or something, shut the fuck up

Who else, how about Green Arrow? Right, another rich dude with a dead daddy. So papa dies and your response is to put on a mask and run around with your underwear showing ... Yeh, I think he needs more help than does my inperiled city

It's beginning to look grim for Toronto. Whatever shall we do? The big name superheroes don't seem to be viable options. Perhaps we should cruise Ossington Ave searching for random heroines, or hipsters or whoever the hell these are

In our desperate hour of need, quite frankly, we'll take anyone, even a giant apparently dead rodent .. hey, who was searching for heroes in City Hall

I suppose we could launch some kind of orbital probe and scour the greater universe for help, goodness knows what we will bring back; alien creatures, Buck Rogers, a couple of female Star Trek ensigns ... hey, they didn't come from space, unless the Brass Rail qualifies as space

OK let's face the facts here: Toronto may be fucked. All of these heroes seem a tad suspect. Yeh, I know, don't search for actual heroes at Comic Con. Now you tell me.

Here's the video

THIS POST WILL BE TELEPORTED

Another year and another journey through the interdimensional-temporal-wormhole-paradigm shifting portal know as Fan Expo. This year they've estimated that 80,000 people passed through the doors at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I usually feel that these numbers are exaggerated but I was there on Sunday, the last of the show's four doors and it was as crowded as I've ever seen it. Luckily, the Convention organizers foresaw this problem and hired the kind of security detail that could handle this problem ...

Good thing too, because there were fairly unsavory characters from Planet Lego who had wandered through the portal

Yes I know, that last character is supposed to be a "hero" but come on now .. the dude wheres a mask, his underpants over his tights and hangs out in a cave with a bunch of flying rats ... this is the dude I'm supposed to trust?

Mind you, if the angry alien hordes did invade the Expo, there were several opportunities to get the hell out of dodge, but not in a Dodge, a DeLorean ...

There are no shortage of heroes at the Fan Expo and conversely no shortage of alien/monster creepies. It's hard to distinguish the villains from the heroes, especially when they are likely to band together and begin playing video games at any given moment.

In the pics above you may have noted an interesting trend at the comic con this year: Female Thors. I noticed about four. Not entirely unusual for girls to don a male hero's costume but I don't recall seeing this number. Makes one wonder. What is the appeal of Thor for women .. in my household the appeal is a big ridiculously muscled Viking with a beard ... but I don't quite understand the appeal of a woman dressing as Thor. Maybe it's the fact he already has long hair or maybe they misinterpret his war hammer for a kitchen spoon, you know how domestic women are ..

OK for that one, I deserve a lightning bolt up my butt. Or maybe a samurai sword .. and a Predator's finger blades

Besides all the visiting heroes and monsters and anime .. (oh my!) ... many people come to Fan Expo for a different kind of visitation, namely celebrities. In this dimension the clear royalty are Stan Lee and William Shatner, with Patrick Stewart a highly place knight. For these geek dignitaries it is a pay to play kind of scenario ... autographs, pictures, Q&A .. all put or shut up.

Lower ranked nobility however often are happy to grace the peasants for free. The line up to see Gillian Anderson in a Q&A was one of the longest I saw at the convention; some 10 years after The X Files stopped producing new episodes, the series clearly still resonates with people ... as does Dr Who. The Dr's current incarnation, John Barrowman, received cheers worthy of any rock star.

Of course, at the fan expo, one could be surrounded by the biggest stars of ... well other stars .. and not even know it. Always treat everyone/thing with respect.

As you'll see in the video, the biggest adventure of the day was getting out of the exhibition building. 80,000 people with the exact same exit strategy .... I really needed an interdimensional portal. But since I don't, I'll my friends and we'll call a cab ..