A NON POLITICAL POST ABOUT POLITICIANS

As a federal election here in Canada shows up on our door step like a one eyed three legged cat with dubious toilet habits, just some random non partisan and certainly non important, non thought out, non relevant and non impactful thought about politicians

WHY DO ALL POLITICANS WEAR SUITS: Oh sure, every now and then they break out a sweater to appear more "common" but let's be honest, they always look as if they just lost a bet. Why do they have to wear suits. Why can't hey wear moo moos. Or motor cycle leathers. Or lederhosen with a propellor beanie and teddy bear slippers. Yeh, I'd vote for that guy

WHY ARE POLITICIANS "HONORABLE": You know what I mean, the Right Honorable this and the Right Honorable that. Why are they Honorable? Did they make the honour role In high school I made the honour role, and trust me, I ain't gots no honour. Are they judges? As in "Honestly Your Honor, I can't really honor you cuz under your robe you are totally necked; if you was wearing lederhosen then I'd honour you" And this Right Honorable stuff, aren't Lefties honourable? OK, they are not, never mind

WHAT IS WITH THE HAND MOVEMENTS WHEN THEY SPEAK TO THE CAMERA: Yeh, not at all coached or fake. Elbows cocked, hands almost clasped but not quite; the right hand aimed at you, not pointing exactly cuz you know, that would be emphatic; hands spread in disbelief "Can you believe that I expense hookers? Wait, I can't? Really? How about the lederhosen, can I expense those?" C'mon guys, be original. Put your hands behind your head, hook em in your belt like Anthony Quinn in that Mickey Spillane movie The Long Wait. Or just hook one finger in your nose and shove the other one down the back of your pants. You know, relate to the common man

JUST TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR: We all think politicians lie. Not because they keep breaking promises, but because they never really cough up about why they want to run the country. "I want to improve your lives, I want to make Canada great again, I want to protect your family" Yeh, right. Be honest "I want to be the PM because holy mother of god I get to bathe in maple syrup with a supermodel!"

Wait, they can't do that? Huh

Well, they really aren't worth talking about then