Sunday, April 18, 2010

THE WHEELS ON THE SELFINVOLVEDRULEBREAKINGSNOTTY VEHICLE GO ROUND AND ROUND

Bicycles and politicians and the environment oh my!

Bicycles. In the city. In my city and your city. Here we go

Before I begin this rant (and if you didn't see a rant coming, well, welcome to my blog and hang on) I want to say that I have nothing against the idea of cycling. I've been an avid cyclist most of my life. I've cycled as a form of transportation and I've cycled as form of recreation. I've cycled sober, I've cycled stoned and I picked up girl while on my bike .. no, not picked up physically ..oh, never mind

Cycling as a mode of transportation, particularly to take you to work sounds like a lovely idea. When I lived in the north end of Kingston, I could cycle downtown in under 30 minutes. I would cycle in the rain, I would cycle when it was cold but no, I did not cycle in the dead of winter.

Cycling to work in Toronto, and the GTA, is another matter. Yes, some people live downtown and work downtown and can keep their cycling commute in that 30 minute time frame. And while there are a few hearty souls who cycle all year round most people do not. The "but" here, is that most people do not live a 30 minute cycle from their place of employment. I've never lived that close to any place I've worked here even by car. I've worked in the far west end and I've worked to the north, in Vaughn. By car, in good weather, at least a 40 minute drive, closer to an hour. By bike much, much longer because I would be restricted to surface streets instead of highways, that's the way it is for most people.

Here in Toronto, our local politicians are bike crazy. They think bicycles are some kind of viable transportation mode for 3 million people whose regular commute is a minimum 90 mins .. at car speeds .. each way. Their own surveys tell them that the number of people who commute to work via bicycle is very small and those who do it in the winter, almost none

Still ...

The city is going ahead transforming the city into some kind of Green bike paradise. There are plans to reduce University Avenue from 8 lanes to six, to accommodate bike lanes. What? University Ave is one of the busiest streets in the general downtown area. It services, business, hospitals, public institutions and if you've driven on it, you know that it already is not big enough to accommodate the vehicular traffic.

The fact is, Toronto as a whole is not large enough to effectively deal with the amount of cars now clogging its streets and highways every day. One solution to this problem is obvious: transit. Oh, the politicians know that of course; they sing the transit blues everyday. But no one seems to want to foot the bill. The province promises billions of dollars in new transit infrastructure then reneges on the promise. The city promises millions but only if the province comes through ... Don't look at the dove in my hands, ladies and gentlemen, please pay attention the hand that is gently probing your rectum ... Yeh, the old sleight of hand while you get fondled.

It is interesting that the city cries poor for transit but finds millions of dollars to construct these bike lanes, not to mention causing months and months of added traffic congestion as the project goes on. For what? A fraction of the population? How green is it actually to expend all that diesel and gas that will be used to make the bikes lanes for a few hundred, even thousand people who will use the lanes only part of the year.

And let's talk a little bit about these user shall we. If you have driven, or even walked around Toronto, and are perfectly honest, you will know the typical big city cyclist: Rude, arrogant, self involved, aggressive, oblivious to cars and pedestrians, disdainful of the rules of the road. It's true. I see it every day.

I have rarely been driving around cyclists where they are not committing some infraction against the Motor Vehicles Act. I've seen a bike coming down a street where there are stop signs every two blocks; instead of actually stopping at the signs the cyclist just blew through, ringing his little bell. I've seen them riding three abreast on a two lane street with parallel parking on both sides, causing cars to slalom dangerously around them. A huge issue is adult cyclists riding on the sidewalk, no matter how crowded they are. I've seem them come up behind women with strollers and ring the bell, as if expecting the woman and her stroller to get off the sidewalk. Hey Lance Armstrong, you are not even allowed on the fricking sidewalk.

I've written before about the boorish behaviour of cyclists on the paths and trails through the city parks. I'm not talking about dedicated bike paths, I'm talking about shared usage sidewalks. It is becoming dangerous. I've had the dogs, pulled them off to the side to bend over and give them water or whatever, only to rise to be narrowly brushed past by some speeding cyclist; when I tell them to use their bell so I know they are there, I usually get the finger. Hey Lance Armstrong, you know I could put my border collies on you and your rear tire would be shredded in seconds. You know that, right?

I'm pretty much getting to the point where I question the viability of bikes in a city like this. I definitely would like to see cyclists breaking the road rules targeted more aggressively, like with the same tenacity they come after dog owners perhaps. Cyclists seem to have a sense of entitlement and with all this Green concern, and with this bunch of gooey eyed morons in Council, I can understand why. But it's dangerous out there.

So if in the next year or two you decide to visit my city I really would leave your car behind, you're going to spend way too much time fuming behind the wheel, stuck in traffic, stuck for construction, watching the cyclists whipping by, sliding by the wrong side of your door, pulling illegal U turns, blasting through red lights ...

If you do, give them the one fingered cyclist salute for me




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