BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID (BUT WHY?)

Fear is real. There are many levels of fear, from the little bugaboo in the back of your mind, to the overwhelming physical reaction that makes your palms sweat and your lungs ache

Collette has a terrible fear of heights. Its a real thing, a physical thing that literally paralyzes her. I have a fear of confined spaces. I've been stuck in elevators and been ok but dark, tight places with pressure above me, makes me feel that I'm going to suffocate. We know we have these fears, we know what triggers them, but we can't control them. That's what phobia's are.

Cynophobia is the fear of dogs. Its a phobia, like Collette's fear of heights and my fear of confinement/suffocating. It's a real physical fear that you can't control. People have cynophobia and I suppose people suffer from it in my city and I suppose that I have have encountered them, when out with my girls. I strive hard to make my girls good canine "citizens". They're never walked offleash on the streets and even when offleash, they've been trained very well to be under my control. When I see situations that I know will challenge that training (like little kids running around, they look like sheep) I keep my dogs out of it. But if you have a phobia, it doesn't matter, you're just scared, you can't help it, I understand that.

Then you have a fear of dogs that isn't a phobia per se, but is still very real. People who have been attacked by dogs, no matter how long ago, have a fear of dogs that can sometimes never be conquered. A friend of mine, a client, who's name is Bill, always had a hesitant reaction to Hayley and when we got Terra, I could see he was even more leery. He told me that as a teenager, he had been attacked and badly bitten by a friend's dog, a dog whom Bill trusted. He always did very well with my dogs, he never made a big deal of it, but he was afraid.

I know I've encountered people out there with similar stories. They're strangers, not friends. They owe me nothing Even if my dogs do nothing, these people are afraid of them and they probably wish there were no dogs. I understand that. It's fear, a real fear and its often out of their control.

Where this is all coming from is the reactions I have when I'm out with the dogs. My dogs are trained, they're under control, in the streets they're always on their leads yet we encounter everything from people screaming, to freezing, to snarling at me. So a small percentage have a phobia. A slightly larger percentage have a fear based upon a past attack. But what about the rest of them? I mean, these are very common reactions. Yes, the girls bring me many compliments but I get more negative reactions. Why?

I've heard that people have grown up in cultures that have a very different views of domestic dogs. Dogs in north america, generally, especially pets (as opposed to real working/hunting dogs) are very indulged, and certainly overindulged. When we were in Costa Rica and Belize, dogs were just roaming the streets, sleeping on the beaches etc. We were told that not all these dogs are strays, they were pets but they didn't stay in the house, they weren't walked, they were maybe put in a yard at night, to offer protection. Most of these dogs were not fearful or aggressive like feral dogs, they were domesticated, but not in the way I'm used to

Then you have cultures where there are no pets, just strictly working dogs. Or countries where some people's only experience with dogs are with guard or attack dogs. I could see you would be afraid of those dogs, but that's something learned and what is learned, can be re-learned. My border collies are not a danger to you .. unless you're a tennis ball.

If you live in a new place, you have to learn the new way. I mean, really, don't you?

When you talk about culture you often have to talk about religion too, as oft time both are intermingled. I know some orthodox religions have strict guidelines about humans interacting with dogs, probably stemming from ancient concerns about safety and even hygiene but let's face it, we don't live in those times anymore. Be that as it may, that's still not a true fear of dogs. You just don't like them, as your religion decrees, and hey, you don't have to own a dog, but don't jump off the sidewalk and call me a rude name because I have one. You aren't afraid. You're brainwashed. Get over it.

You saw the rant coming, didn't you? I guess my point is this: Collette and I have worked really really hard to make our dogs disciplined and good public "citizens" We work very hard to make sure that people aren't inconvenienced by our dogs. In the street we leash them, in the parks we keep them away from situations that we know will bother people, like playgrounds, picnic areas, soccer games etc. They have manners, they're obedient, but it still isn't enough for a lot of people.

If you're afraid, truly afraid, then I do feel for you, and I know your reactions are not always under your control. But I also think that the percentage of people with a real uncontrollable fear is pretty small. For the rest of you ... I respect you, show me respect at all. You don't have to love my dogs, but we're here, we have the right to be here, and just cut us a bit of slack. And hey, you know, if you kind of drop the veil and see my girls as they really are, you're gonna love em.

I mean, who couldn't?

DON'T WORRY, WE HAVE YOUR EMOTIONS PRE-PACKAGED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE

Toronto has Olympic fever. The torch is making its way through the city today, on its way to Vancouver. Watching the coverage has made my skin a little twitchy.

People are lined up on the sidewalks, in this burning cold, tears sticking to their faces, clutching their hearts ... why? Some of the quotes: "This is the greatest moment of my life" "I'm so glad my kids are able to witness this (isn't this a school day?)" And the torch bearers themselves are so emotional they're practically orgasmic

"I've been defined" said one torch bearer. Another: "I will remember this as long as I live"

Again: Why? People, you aren't really thinking about all this, are you

More quotes "The torch represents peace and hope" OK, well the murder of Israeli athletes and the Atlanta bombing kind of squashes that whole peace thing

"The torch is for unity among the world's peoples" Really now? With nations boycotting the games at various times, tons of official protests and the games being held in China, a non democratic country where people have no rights to govern themselves and where human rights violations are a daily occurrence

"The torch represents the beauty of competition" This one's too easy: Corrupt figure skating judges, Ben Johnson, human growth hormone, professional athletes.

Are people really thinking about this? Or are they just blithely following a pre packaged emotional construct. Who doesn't think that the Olympics are all about money and corporate greed? Who doesn't understand the subtext of national pride verging on racism? Who doesn't get that the upcoming Olympics in Rio will make a few people a ton of money but will do nothing to help the hundreds of thousands of those who live there in poverty and will, in all likelihood, make their lives even worse. What happened to all the poor people in Beijing? Do you think their lives got any better? I doubt it

Feel free to enjoy some of the athletic performances at the Olympics. Most of that leaves me cold, for a lot of these athletes, who train for monthly, yearly events of more importance, this is an artificial event, that happens every four years under a huge media spotlight and viewed by a lot of people who probably understand nothing about their sport. And its political. Way, way political, from what country hosts, to which athletes compete, to who carries a flag; you have to know it has nothing to do with individual achievement.

Can any adult with access to any kind of media not really get this? Yet here I'm watching all these people, completely overcome with emotion. Even if you can ignore all the incredible bullshit associated with the Olympics, unless you know someone involved, is it really this big a deal? At the most, its an athletic competition. But I hear all these vapid platitudes: World changing, hopefully, fulfilling, life altering ... oh people, give your head a shake

I think not enough people are thinking about this. Not enough people are thinking, period, They sit there in their living rooms and they let the SMPTE corrected colour images wash over them, soaking in this pre packaged propaganda that has nothing to do with reality but has everything to do with TV ratings and product placement .. oh, oh yeh, excuse me, the Olympics aren't about money ... cough cough.

Let's talk about the torch bearers themselves. Yes there was a school teacher, a retired athlete, but there was also an awful lot of "TV personalities" from CTV the network that is hosting (no, not hosting, but paid millions of the dollars) the games on Cdn television. Were they all there to promote amateur sports and the beauty of competition or national pride?

What really bothers me is how so many of these people are emoting and speaking as if they're following a script. They've given up their emotions to the spin doctors, and given it up easily. No wonder we can't see to be able to make critical, viable decisions when it comes to how we want to be governed. We're too fucking passive, we're too bludgeoned by marketing and politics to NOT think, to NOT be critical, to just spread our legs and take, and later, pay for the privileged.

Maybe we should use that torch to help keep warm some to the people sleeping on sewer grates in this city tonight

THE SIMPLE THINGS 2: THE REAL SNOW DOGS

Anyone remember the Disney movie Snow Dogs, starring (and helping with the career downfall of) Cuba Gooding Jr? If you don't remember that's probably a good thing, as its pretty much a piece of dreck. However, a friend gave it to us a few years back. The story involves a border collie who wants to be lead dog of an Alaskan sled dog team. Well, I briefly worked with sled dogs in northern Manitoba and we own a border collie (just the one at that time) so there are moments in the movie that I enjoyed.

But now I have my own snow dogs. One of whom, Terra, got to experience the very first snow day of her life.

Needless to say, Terra seemed to enjoy the cool air and all that frozen water. Because as I've documented in other posts, for Terra, water is border collie crack.

Of course, Miss Hayley is our original snow dog and she too, was happy to quietly express her genteel pleasure on the first snowfall of the season

Border collies love the snow. They are all weather dogs but with those big coats and high energy, they do enjoy the cooler temps. They like to run on/through it as well, I assume it feels good on their pads. And of course, a layer of snow makes them into pirates, sniffing and digging for treasure, even it said snow is covering ground they sniffed only hours before. Hey, its snow, you never know what could be hidden under there.

Above, is rookie treasure hunter Terra, making her first forays into digging. Below, is old pro Miss Hayley, going for a full fledged excavation.

Of course, the one thing snow dogs like to do even more than dig for treasure, is to run ...

Terra really needs very little motivation to run, and Miss Hayley just needs a puppy to chase but Terra is a ball dog and we had some fun with that in the snow. Usually she has launched herself to warp speed before I can even get the ball airborne, so her back is to me as the ball is flying. She usually finds it by sound but in the snow, the impact is muffled. It took her a while to figure out that the ball was on the ground, covered by a layer of snow, sometimes right under her nose. Well, border collies aren't known to be scent dogs. But eventually she got her nose working and learned how to find her ball.

And if you do lose your ball, don't fret, nature is always happy to provide you with a stick ..

And the lovely thing about sticks, they often leave you with little souvenirs you can take home

All Miss Hayley thinks is: Puppy, I don't care what you chase, just get on with it, I need something to herd

So that was our first day in the snow. A simple thing. Just two girls romping around in the white stuff. But yeh, the simple things are good. And I'll keep this post simple as well, and let my girls tell you, that this is the end ..

WOMEN'S BLUES REVIEW 2009

Last month Collette and I saw a terrific blues concert featuring the Downchild Blues Band A great show featuring Downchild, Colin James, Colin Linden, the amazing James Cotton, but it was definitely a testosterone fuelled event. Blues is often associated with men; Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, BB King, et al. But the first superstars of the blues were actually women, like Bessie Smith and Guitar Minnie. And one of favorite annual events in Toronto is The Women's Blues Review.

I love this show because you are always bound to see some familiar performers and get to discover some new women, which was certainly the case this year. You also get to see the Women's Blues Review Band, a group of incredibly talented performers like Suzie Vinnick, Madeline Stowe, Lilly Sass, who only come together for this event. Some of these women have been playing this event for 20 years and it shows. Suzie Vinnick is a fave of ours as an individual performer and she is also showcased in the show.

Other familiar faces included Diana Braithwaite. Diana is awesome, as close to a Canadian Etta James as you're going to get. Many of the women in the show don't make their living singing the blues and Diana is incredibly well rounded but she has a real understanding of the Blue Note sort of blues sound, even to the point of writing original songs that have a truly authentic air to them.

Saidah Baga Talibah is another performer we've seen before in this show. A Toronto local, she's a true professional, performing blues, jazz, show tunes, hip hop, all with a true flair for capturing the audience. I have a small personal connection to this girl. She's the daughter of legendary Toronto performer Salome Bey. Many years ago, I helped Saidah and her mother stage a performance of their original musical Rainbow World as part of a program I ran in Brampton, training youth to do video production. Saidah was just a little girl then. It was great to see her at the show, tall and powerful and confident; but the the bootie shorts were something I didn't want to equate with that little girl back in the day.

Sass Jordan was of course familiar to me. And yes, I knew about her even before Canadian Idol, though I've never before seen her perform live. Sass doesn't sing the blues but she has ballsy, tough, Janis-like voice that still sounds damn good. And the woman can hold your attention.

Now to the to new faces. Terra Hazelton is a local jazz singer who used to work with Jeff Healy and his Jazz Wizards. There is an undeniable connection between jazz (original jazz that is) and the blues. Terra sang two Bessie Smith songs and she carried them off beautifully. Her album art is all dark and moody but in person she was really delightful and had Massey Hall rocking.

Rachelle van Zanten is a Calgary girl who doesn't really do the blues but she absolutely impressed Collette and I. She has a full rich voice and a really unique song writing perspective but what really caught my attention was her powerful, controlled, lyrical slide guitar playing She grew up playing traditional country and toured with the female rock band Painting Daisies but I'd say she has a real solo career in front of her. Women are strong, no question, but this woman's guitar playing was tough, while still being lyrical.

The final performer was Shakura S'Aida. We've seen Shakura before and as a singer, she is power personified. Physically imposing, she prowls the stage in her 6 inch heels, her voice coming from someplace deep inside her, this woman is a force of nature. This year Shakura brought someone special with her. Donna Grantis is a very young woman who came on stage in her gold lame dress, her little open toed gold heels and her sparkly purple guitar .. and proceeded to blow the roof off of Massey Hall. Then Jimi, think Stevie (if you have to ask who Jimi and Stevie are, you're reading the wrong blog) pouring out of this young lady. A ton of technical skill and a ton of confidence. You have to have confidence to play along side Shakura and the two of them complimented each other will, trading Donna's searing electric guitar with Shakura's earth moving natural instrument.

Blues is tough music. These were strong women. It made for a powerful night.

THE SIMPLE THINGS

It's definitely the simple things that are important. The little moments, perhaps unnoticed at the time, but those that linger in the memory for long afterwards. The memory is nice but you wish you had paid more attention at that time, at the moment it occurred, but sometimes its easy to let them pass without proper notice.

Today, I was lucky enough to take note. I had taken the girls for their customary morning walk .. or I should say run. Border collies, be they 10 months old like Terra, or 10 years old like Hayley, would always rather run than walk. This morning we did it in the park, in the cold pouring rain and in the mud. Which means we all came home drenched and mud spattered, some of us happier than the others.

After a quick wipe down of the dogs (yes, my house smells like wet dog, yes my car smells of wet dog, but it also smells of wet hippie, I've learned to lived with it all) they both were happy to take a nap. Terra wipes down easily. She still doesn't have her full adult coat and her short, fluffy puppy fur dries quickly. Miss Hayley is a different story. That is a lot of fur. Even by the standards of border collies, my girl has a massive coat, and in the rain it becomes just an endless mess of curls. Plus, her old bones feel the cold a bit more than the puppy.

So up on the couch Hayley goes and I wrap her up in a blanket. Hey, don't you roll your eyes at me. This is the best method of drying her off and anyway, you look into those beautiful, wise brown eyes and not spoil her rotten. So, I'm a suck. A manly suck, but a suck nonetheless.

I went into my studio to work and came out into the living room hours later. And there it was, that lovely little simple moment of pleasure. My two dogs, my two girls, each in their own space, snoozing happily, satisfied from their morning play, warm and dry and content, both of them now at an age where they are content to relax all on their own.

Come on. Don't be a tough guy. You know you want to say "Awwww"

.

How can you not just feel better looking at these two? Wet-dog-smelly .. yes. Cute-as-shit .. absolutely.

Two sleepy dogs, wrapped in their blankets, just as simple as that ...

... sometimes simple works.

THE "YOU AIN'T EVER TOO OLD TO HAVE THE BLUES" BLUES

Can you to be too old to rock n roll? Rod Stewart, with his failed lounge lizard act says Yes, you can be too old to rock n roll. Mick Jagger, who can still put on an effective live show, says No, you can't be too old to rock and roll ... but you may need oxygen.


Now, can you be too old to make the blues? B.B. King is in his eighties and every time I've seen him, the man amazes me. He may sit on a chair to the do the show, he sometimes loses the lyrics, but when Lucille sings, she still puts the shivers down my spine. Buddy Guy is in his 70's. These days Buddy tends to lose focus during his shows and he tends to gab a bit more but his voice is still powerful and he still plays one of the hardest, meanest, scariest electric guitars I've ever heard.


What inspired this line of thinking was a concert that Collette and I attended this past Saturday night. It was the 40th anniversary of the Downchild Blues Band, held at Massey Hall. Forty years of grinding it out in bars, mostly, a hardcore party band, touring the world, spitting out always enjoyable recordings but making their living on a stage, usually in some place reeking of beer and desperation. The inspiration for the Blues Brothers, according to Dan Akroyd. And for a band with that kind of longevity, a surprisingly cohesive unit.


Founder Donnie Walsh was there, and singer Chuck Jackson, who still has an impressive set of pipes and who has been with the band for 20 years. The "newest" member of the band was the drummer, who has been with the outfit for 17 years. This current version of the band has been touring together for 15 years. As Jackson put it, "We've been through 1,900 band members and two thousand wives. We still keep in touch with the band members"

Blues is certainly a musical form infused with tradition. Its history is well documented by non musical white guys (like me) but more importantly, it's a music aware of its own traditions and it respects them. Blues is a musical form that has survived, from the cotton fields and juke joints of the Delta to the hard urban streets of Chicago and Memphis, to the the stages of England and Europe during the revival of the sixties. Blues is a live music; I don't know how many blues CDs I have, too many to count and I love listening to them but the blues is a living art form and it lives on a stage near you.

Saturday night Downchild kept the blues alive with the their traditional, rollicking, brand of basement blues; two harmonica players, three horns, Donnie's gutsy slide guitar. A comfortable yet thoroughly entertaining middle ground. Forty years, damnit, they have to be doing something right

If Downchild is middle aged, two other ends of the spectrum were well documented. Colin Linden opened the show; you may not know Colin but you should. Besides his own albums, Colin has produced and/or appeared as a sideman on about 300 others and his original tunes have been covered by an awful lot of people. I love Colin's voice, I love his kind of goofy exuberance but man, when he plays that Dobro guitar with a steel slide, it sends shivers up your spine. Colin has been around, not for 40 years, so not quite middle aged.

Downchild brought some players up on stage to jam with them. One of them was a young rock singer called Jonas who had a hell of voice and rocked out with the old men like someone who really appreciated this music. Collin James always showed up and traded licks with Donnie. He didn't sing and I love his voice but this is another guitar that gets the nerve ends tingling. So some blues teenagers in the house, if you get my point.

There was one very special player up on that stage as well, and he represents the blues tradition as well as anyone alive. If I have to put my thumb on a single album that kick started my love affair with the blues, it may be a Muddy Waters album from the 70's called Hard Again. That album featured Johnny Winters and a harmonica player named James Cotton. Cotton is in his eighties, the last living member of Muddy's band and one of the last flesh and blood links back to the Delta. There he was, perched atop his chair, chugging away at his harp, a huge smile on his face. Every person who came up on that stage to play made a point of going to him, shaking his hand or just touching his shoulder. The living blues. No shit.

The other special guest of the evening was Dan Akroyd. He was the emcee, he came on to dance and grunt and play his harp. I have to love Akroyd in this context. I have to. Cuz Akroyd is me. A white guy of no real discernible talent, with a huge passion for this music, who gets to jam with James Cotton. Shit, he may be like my personal deity. And, oh, by the way, as part of the Blues Brothers, also managed to sell a few million dollars. I am so not worthy.

So a great night, one of a kind, blues played in many of its flavours but played hard and soft and sweet and dirty but played to make us stand up and dance and played to help all the men on stage feel connected to that dark, sweet pulse of the Delta

Yes, they were all men but coming up .. the Women's Blues Review.

STATE OF DISUNION

Do we get the system we deserve? Or maybe we rise (or descend) to the level of gov't that we can handle.


To wit: This week I had to take Collette to the emergency dept at North York Gen. Monday she had so much pain she could barely work and it had gotten much worse by Tuesday. She had phoned her doctor, but it was too late to see her, so she suggested we go to the hospital.


When we got to the ER it was moderately busy. Lots of kids. Everyone running around with masks, fearing N1H1 lurking in the vending machines. A little disconcerting actually, all the nurses with the masks on, some even with goggles, like a scene from a B movie where some manufactured plague is about to turn us all into zombies ..


The triage nurse saw Collette pretty quickly and she was officially registered. That was a set up, really, perhaps the hospital's cruel way of toying with us. Because that speed was definitely a misnomer. To cut the story short (OK, I know, that's not like me, but I currently have a cold, and yeh, I should have worn the fucking mask) we sat there for 7 hours. Seven hours, in an ER that wasn't busy and barely had an ambulance come in.


Looking around and overhearing some of the other patients I did get kind of miffed that there were people there who perhaps didn't need to be in an ER. A very loud couple was sitting by us, reeking of booze and the guy's basic complaint sounded a lot like heartburn. Eventually they left, before being seen, after creating a bit of scene. They were inspired to do so by a mother who screamed and wailed because her child was not being attended to in a timely fashion. I don't blame her but it did open the floodgates of people going up to the nurse and yelling. That really didn't work. It only inspired one doctor to tell Security to keep the patients away from him.


Yeh, we wouldn't want that, would we. Doctors interacting with patients. Ewww.


Part of the problem is that after 11 pm, the ER loses one doctor. Yeh, a big hospital in one of the more densely populated areas of Toronto, gosh we won't have any patients after 11 ............ will we?


We all know that Ontario cut back medical services. The same gov't that allowed shop owners to steal millions of dollars of gov't sponsored lottery money and, as an alternative to brick and mortar medical funding, set up online services and the like, like E-health ... which basically turned out to be some kind of pork barrel swindle that wasted billions of dollars of tax payer money. Oh yeh, the same gov't that gave themselves a 23 thousand dollar raise, to improve our quality of service. And we sat our ass for 7 hours in an emerg, before anyone saw us.

When Collette finally saw the doctor, she was out in about 15 minutes with a diagnosis of a kidney infection and a prescription for antibiotics. So we were out there ... too bad the diagnosis was wrong. So not only do we wait for 7 hours, we don't even get the service we needed.

We ended back in the ER the next night. It was even less busy than the night before. Another 6 hrs before being seen by a doctor. At least this time he got the diagnosis right, Collette had a bowel infection. They kept her overnight and sent her home with better drugs. She's doing better now but had to take the week off work.

I'm pretty much pissed about all this. I'm sorry, but I find the quality of service we got verging on shitty. I know I'm not alone in that, and I know, I know, many many people have it way worse. Yet we put up with it. We whine and we bitch and we know its fucked up but we keep getting these inept immoral govts who seem designed to only serve themselves. Like, we'll give ourselves the biggest raise in the history of provincial gov'ts by you all will have to do with fewer doctors.

What?

A recent ombudsman report basically stated that our government's are slow, unresponsive, inept and disenfranchised from their voters and that this has been building for some time. And we built it folks, no doubt about that. We let them lie and bamboozle us and when they fuck up we let them get away with it.

We had to wait 7 hours to see a doctor, but if someone parks the wrong way on my street, they get a ticket in five minutes ...

Yup, we get the gov't we want.