TORONTO GANGS: THEY'RE ALL ANINMALS

Gang violence in Toronto is getting out of hand. They're calling this the Summer of the Gun Part 2

I'm calling it the summer of the fang

It began with a daring break out. Two members of the High Park Capybara gang busted out of their jail (or pen) in High Park and went on the lam. Not lamb. I want to make this perfectly clear: No lambs are on the loose in the GTA

The two notorious gang members called themselves Bonnie and Clyde (the media may have had something to do with it) in reference to some gangstas from days gone by. In this sense, the capybara's were indeed OG.

You can see pics of the capybara gang online. They look like giant rats. "Hey!" Clyde bellows,"We ain't no rats! Snitches get stitches!"

OG indeed

What the intent of these water loving criminals may never be known. Perhaps a crime spree of tagging canoes in the Inner Harbour or swimming naked at the nude beach at Hanlon's Point.

Perhaps they had more insidious designs. Was it the ultimate plan of the capybara's to replace the beaver as our national symbol?

We will never know. The gangster way of life is a hard one. Tu Pac, Biggie E, they all got brought back down to Earth

For every bad ass there is a badder asset. Yeh, that's a word, cuz I just used it. Shut up.

Another gangsta broke out of prison in TO, an infamous assassin with no known gang affiliation in this area but often used to do the dirty work. Code name: Alligator. Yeh, one got out

Last night there were reports of dead capybara's in the eastern beaches. Are they the capybaras? Are they actually dead? And are there gator teeth marks on their bodies? That's what I want to know

Hey capybara's, this ain't no gangster's paradise