IT'S SO COLD: That the hair in your nostrils seem to be imitating giant sequoia trees
IT'S SO COLD: That not only has Hell frozen over, it's built and giant ice hotel and has found sponsorship from Skull Head vodka
IT'S SO COLD: That TTC bus drivers have been driven into hibernation, look for them curled up under the warming lamps at your local McDonalds; be careful not to disturb them, when roused, the hibernating TTC driver can be very cranky and will use their transfer punching on your genitalia
IT'S SO COLD: Your breath just doesn't freeze on the air, it develops an attitude, slaps you in the face and demands your wallet
IT'S SO COLD: Polar bears are skinning humans for their hide and sewing them into coats; geese are stuffing their feathers with polar bear fur
IT'S SO COLD: Penguins are now considering Toronto as an adventure destination for that "True Winter Experience"
IT'S SO COLD: That when people saw the title of this post they thought it would be info that would help them get warm and now they all hate me but I don't care ...
You know why I don't care?
BECAUSE IT'S SO COLD!
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