Sunday, February 1, 2009


Please note, the word in the title is bonding, not bondage. That will be covered in a later post. Ah-hem.

What this post is really about is the things that people have in common, the things that bring them together, and the things that keep them there. OK, maybe for some of you that could indeed be bondage, but in our household ropes are used to hang pictures.

But what does bring Collette and I together is blood ... and this post is sounding kinkier and kinkier as we go along. What I mean by blood is a blood sport, in particular, the sport of MMA or mixed martial arts fighting. Collette and I are both fond of this sport, in particular the Ultimate Fighting Championship, or UFC. And a blood sport it is; fists land, elbows fly, knees pummel. Blood flows. Sometimes liberally. A Maui thai elbow to the forehead is a pretty effective can opener. And Collette and I love it. No argument, no explanation, no justification, we jut love it.

Both of us.

A couple of weeks ago we ordered our first ever pay per view. Although we both love and devour movies it was not a movie, it was a UFC event. There was no discussion about this, no negotiation, we both knew right away that this particular event (two title fights and a truly kick ass undercard) was worth buying. This sport is a shared passion, perhaps even a binding passion.

Why binding? Because although this is an increasingly popular sport, it is not universally so, in fact many people hate it, calling it brutal and tasteless We call those people wimps. Like any passion you may have, it is always special to find someone who shares it. UFC apparently has a growing female following but I still think it's special to find a woman who is truly into the sport; having that woman be the one I live with is a real convenient bonus.

When Collette and I first moved in together, one of the first things we did was vette each other's record collection (yes, young readers, records, flat black discs of plastic from which sound emanated; like a CD, with soul). Out went Collette's Air Supply records. Out went Vic's John McGlaughlin records. One of the things we had in common was Alice Cooper, we each had three records .... but the exact same three records. Goosebumps, raised hair, feeling of soul mates met and maybe that Alice only ever made three really solid records ....

The first movie I took her to see was Harlan Ellion's A Boy And His Dog ... to all my fellow dog/border collie enthusiasts if you don't know about this movie, fair warning: Lassie it ain't. It is a little post apocalypse special starring a very baby Don Johnson and his telepathic dog; this heart warming duo roam the bombed out countryside seeking out canned peaches, porn, and women in such a state of dehydration and emotional despair they make easy rape targets. Then he meets the young lady from the civilized down under, an artificially happy environment where all the males have become sterile. So down goes Don, whose rampant survivor spunk is used to impregnate e the local female population, one girl at a time. Oh, and then Don must make a choice between his dog and the young lady and the movie ends with a cheerful BBQ ... of a sort. I look at it as a comedy.

But a first date, romantic comedy, feminist movie this ain't ... I could imagine most girls turning and running. But we know Collette is not most girls. It has become one of our favorite movies, and we own a copy on VHS as well as a bootleg in DVD We love this movie and some of the plot points and dialogue have become part of our personal lexicon.

Going back to music, this is another thing that binds us. Nothing unusual there, this is probably one of the most us things that people have in common .. or don't, with all the ensuing issues. I've always had a love of the blues, Collette had a passion for Celtic music when we met and she still does. I certainly enjoy that music but it is fair to say that she is more enthusiastic about it than I. But the blues have become another shared passion, especially the music of B.B. King who we have been fortunate to see many times here in Toronto as well as the Women's Blues Revue, about which I have posted before. We each still enjoy musical tastes that the other may not share but I can hear a piece of music and know, without a doubt, that Collette will enjoy it; that is rare, I can only say that for two other people in my life, my brother Ed and our friend Karen.

I've learned, over the years, to concentrate on the things that we have in common, as opposed to the things that we disagree on. Disagreeing is easy, finding those bonds, outside of members of your own family, is rare. Be it a post apocalyptic movie to the devil's music to a guy ripping another guy's arm out of his socket, these are things that may not have brought us together, but the things that bind us there.

No comments:

Top Blogs Pets

Add to Technorati Favorites